Dear Daddy
by Ken McGill

Dear Daddy,

I love you and miss you. I hope you had a good day. I thank God for making daddies, he could have just made mommies, but he made daddies too. I'll see you in the morning. Bye!!!!!!!

Love, Marissa.

P.S. Daddy, promise to love and take care of me!!!!

This precious and lovely note, which is now framed and hanging in my office, was written by my sweet 7 1/2 year old daughter a few nights ago, as I tend to have to work some evenings in my work as a psychotherapist. What you don't see in Marissa's words is a picture she drew of herself, with heart-shaped "thought bubbles" ending with a picture of me in one of the hearts. As you could imagine, this note moved me to tears as I read it, as my wife placed it on my pillow for me to see upon returning home.

In these precious few words, my daughter, who truly embodies the love, tenderness and spirit of her mother, has affirmed my presence and importance in her life, and as she requests, I certainly desire to be present with her and my family, fulfilling the promise to take care of them, and to enjoy their presence each and every day of my life.

What you don't know about me is that I grew up without knowing who my father is, without him being in my life, and to this day, I have never seen a picture of him. He is occasionally in my thoughts, and his absence in my life has instilled in me the desire to be present in the life of my family, and in the process, to convey to them how much I love, honor and cherish them.

One of the ways I like to celebrate my connection with Marissa, and in the process affirming her place and presence in my life, is by swooping her up into my arms, holding her like "a baby," and reciting the "I remember the day you were born" poem to her. In that exchange, it is important for me to convey to her my memory of that beautiful and life-changing day, as well as the special place that she will always have in my heart. As she sits cradled in my arms, which is a bit more difficult with her longer and lanky seven year old body, I look into her eyes and mention...

I remember the day that you were born. And on the day that you were born, the doctor...
'No, the nurses!'*
Oh yea...the Nurses gave you to me, and I held you in my arms and said, "Oh she's so beautiful."

And I held you in my arms, and I looked in your eyes, and kissed your nose, and said "what a beautiful little girl. And do you know what? You're just as beautiful today, as you were then. The end."

*(My stating "Doctor" is Marissa's clue to interrupt me in this interactive encounter, as she reminds me that it was in fact the Nurses who gave her to me in the hospital).

Should you be in a position to be parent or caregiver to a child, my hope is that you will recount to your child how precious s(he) is to you, and that you deeply enjoy the precious moments that you create and share with them. For me, my children (and of course their mommy!) are a gift from God, and as such, I cherish the gift that they are, and I enjoy these special and heartfelt moments that I, as a father and husband, am truly privileged to receive from these special women in my life.

Ken works as a Staff Therapist at Azusa Pacific University's University Counseling Center. You could reach Ken at his website, www.kenmcgill.com.

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