Sundance
by Darling G. Villena-Mata

Many of you have asked me about my experiences at the sundance. Here is my reply after much thought:

I do not know what I would say. The experience was so deep for me. It was visceral. The people, the kindest and most generous folks I met. People from all kinds of nations. We are all brothers and sisters. We are part of each other.

Food was plenty and it was special, for it was made with much love, joviality, caring, and prayers. It felt good to pray. To give thanks to what Creator gives us -- people, air, food, land, water, fire, animals, birds, fish. It felt good to hear prayers given in two languages. It felt good to hear the love, respect, and thanks in the prayers prior to the meals. Prayers at the pipe ceremony that I went to. The Prayer ceremony. At the sundance. At witnessing the awakening of the sun in the wee hours. And when the sun went to rest, sister moon would come up to keep us company with her light and wisdom from the stars. Prayer of giving thanks and joyful tears of the beauty around us, in us, through us. The mountains, streams, the meadow where we were, the hearts inside of us. Prayer.

I guess, I do know what to say. The experience was a prayer. It was sacred to me. It was holy. And it reminded me to be me. The sundance experience was more than witnessing sacred dancing. It was about our dances in our lives. Our dance with ourselves, with each other, with our God (whatever name we give Spirit or Creator).

From my tent, I listened to the drumming and chants coming from the arbor where the sun dancers were dancing. I had not felt well that first night after traveling all day and helping to set up the tent in the hot sun. I decided to lay low that first night, knowing that I would be joining them before the sun came up at 4:45 a.m.

I was snuggled inside my sleeping bag, listening to the drums and the chants, and breathing in the cool air. I gazed through my tentıs window to the other tents and to the direction of the sun dancersı arbor. The drums were loud and the cadence seemed to caress my heart as their beats vibrated inside of me.

Then the Wind came, coming first as a gust, then picking up speed, until it roared into my presence.

Why are you afraid of your relations? This gentle but firm male-like voice came in with the howling of an unusual wind that seemed to affect only my tent and me that late night. As the wind increased and the howling screamed through my tent, I had a momentary fear that the tent would be blown away like Dorothyıs house in the Wizard of Oz. It was that strong. No other tents were disturbed, just mine.

A voice made itself known to me. Why are you afraid of your relations?

And as quickly as that voice resonated in my ears, it went through my body, my emotions, my heart. My brain and body quickly flashed on the near air plane crash that I experienced many years ago. I recalled the bumps, the nose dive, and the quieting of the engines as they died. I recalled that passengers prayed and some whimpered as we went vertically down toward the ocean. I recalled my terror of the impending crash, and praying in all the languages that I could recall asking God, Please, let there be no pain, to the death that was swiftly coming to us from the ocean. And at about 300 yards above water, the engines sputtered and roared back to life. Then I recalled later flights when there were turbulence and that I would clutch the arm seat with sweat on my palms. I recalled doing EFT, prayers, and visualizing sailing to calm me down. And finally accepting, Que sera, sera. What will be will be, resigning myself to let go, let God, and breathe.

Why are you afraid of your relations?
And then I realized and remembered.

The Wind is part of God. God is love. Asi es. (Spanish for that is how it is.) I am part of God. Why then am I afraid of myself? We are all related. We are all part of each other. I am part of you, and you are part of me. And we are all part of God, the Creator. Whatever happens, it is as it is. Life is. God is.

I got it viscerally finally. (well, we will see when I get on a bumpy airplane ride if my body remembers! )

Cha Hey Cha. That is how it is. I do not know which first nationıs language that is in, but everyone says it at the sundance, be they Anglo-European, Latina, African-American, Ute, Navaho, Hopi, Lakota people.

I went to the sundance in the hopes of finding more clarity regarding my being of service and of letting go of the increasing phobia of riding in planes which go bump in the air.

I did not expect that my understanding would start that soon.

But the Wind had not finished. You know your path. Let the fears which are occluding your vision leave you.

Well, that message was easy to understand. And with that, the wind suddenly stopped. It did not die down. It just stopped.

The remaining question for me was the odd way of the Voice saying ...all your relations, I had not heard that phrasing before. Not yet...

Where do you come from? this question was asked of everyone by the Elders there. Not, What do you do? As Grandmother said, a person is known not by his or her degrees, job title, what car or house or properties owned, or what business or how much money. A person is known by her or his reputation of being a good woman or a good man or a good child. It is made by how that person treats others, with respect; generosity of the heart, of self, and with what one shares with others.

Grandmother continued to say, You are known through your gentleness, forgiveness, and how you help others be more of who they are -- beauty. Creator is beauty. Beauty of the heart. That is how people are truly known. That is how Creator knows people. This is how you are known. Animals know you by that too. Young children who still have remembrance know you by that too.

The love, respect, and actions emanating from these states -- that is how I will be known. How you will be known. Everything else does not matter. Those things that feed the ego and not the soul, eventually gives us forgetfulness that we are all relations to each other.

As I found out later, prayers ended with Mitakyue Oyasin. All My Relations.

That is what the Voice in the Wind basically said to me. Indeed we are all related and part of the Creator. We are beauty, as Grandmother would say.

That is how it is. Cha Hey Cha (phonetic)

All My Relations. Mitakyue Oyasin

Years ago a shaman told me that I was a member of the Wind family. I am also an Aquarian (air sign). I remembered that after my brother the Wind left me reminding me that I was loved by all my relations.

So there it is. A slice of my adventure. Thank you for listening.

Darling (part of the Wind family)

Issue Three Features
Issue 3 - Page 1

Spirit-to-Spirit
Sundance
The Cake is Ready

Health Share
Dream Healing: Six Steps Toward Wholeness
The First Commandment

Parenting/Relationships
Transformations

Features
Denial
Individuality
Sticks and Stones

For the Record
I Will Still...

On the Spot...
with Rachel Hartman

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